That hesitation, that quiet voice saying “What if it doesn’t work out?”—it’s something we all face. But what if failure isn’t the problem at all?
Redefining Failure
In the book Go for No by Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz, there’s a powerful shift in thinking: instead of avoiding failure, what if we pursued it?
The idea is simple—every “no” brings you one step closer to a “yes.” The most successful people aren’t the ones who avoid rejection; they’re the ones who walk through it, learn from it, and keep going.
When you stop seeing “no” as proof that you’re not enough—and start seeing it as progress—you unlock a new level of freedom.
Detaching Worth from Outcomes
So often, we measure our value by the results we get: the job offer, the approval, the sale, the “yes.”
But your worth isn’t up for debate. It doesn’t rise or fall based on how someone responds to you. A “no” isn’t personal—it’s simply information. It tells you where to adjust, refine, or try again.
When you learn to separate who you are from what happens, you become unstoppable. You stop waiting for outside validation and start acting from confidence and clarity.
Tracking Courage Instead of Success
Here’s one of my favorite takeaways from Go for No: instead of setting a goal for how many yes’s you want, set a goal for how many no’s you’re willing to collect.
Sounds uncomfortable, doesn’t it?
But this simple switch moves your focus from results to action. It celebrates courage instead of control. Each “no” means you showed up. You asked. You tried. You grew.
And the funny thing? The more “no’s” you collect, the more “yes’s” tend to follow.
Discomfort Is Not a Warning Sign
We’re conditioned to believe that discomfort means we’re doing something wrong. But in truth, it’s often a sign that we’re growing.
If you never risk rejection, you also never risk transformation. Growth requires stretching, and stretching isn’t supposed to feel comfortable.
So, what if you began to welcome discomfort—not as something to escape, but as evidence that you’re learning and becoming braver every day?
Go for No—in Life
You don’t have to be in sales to live out this mindset. “Going for no” might look like:
- Having a vulnerable conversation you’ve been avoiding
- Asking for help or feedback
- Setting a boundary
- Sharing your story publicly
- Saying yes to something that scares you
Every one of those moments is a chance to collect a “no” or a “yes”—and either way, you win.
Celebrate Every “No”
What if you started celebrating the effort, not just the outcome?
Write down each “no” this week and what you learned from it. Notice how it shifts your energy. Courage builds with repetition.
You might just find that the “no” you feared most was the doorway to your next opportunity.
The Bottom Line
Success doesn’t come from playing it safe. It comes from the courage to try, fail, learn, and keep moving forward.
The next time you hesitate, remember this:
You might be one “no” away from your next breakthrough.